So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
