Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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