wat bout pragnant strippers??
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
