I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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