I CAN MOONWALK!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
