Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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