i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
