Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Bring me that man meat
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
