Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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