I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
