okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize