I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
