He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
