Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
