There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
