Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
