i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
