you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
