I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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