Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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