That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
