at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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