And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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