so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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