I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
