her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
