The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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