dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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