so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
