i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
