You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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