if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i dont even know how to be here
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
