I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
