theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
