and you said cock pushups were impossible
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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