I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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