The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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