Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
