Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
