She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
