we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
