I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
