Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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