I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize