Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
