He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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