I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
