Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
