I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize