you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
