allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
