I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Of course I have a pirate flag
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
