sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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