Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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