Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
