I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
