He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
