the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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