I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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