Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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