Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
