oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
