I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
