$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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