At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
