FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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